Archive for February, 2009

Bush Chimp v Obama Chimp: Chimp News Update

February 22, 2009

There was a a lot of comment on our earlier postings: Bush Chimp vs Obama Chimp and Chimp Story Has Legs…. The recent horrific chimp attack in Connecticut and the chimp cartoon in the NY Post prompted a flurry of new postings across the blogosphere. A sampling, some serious and some humorous follows (not always sure which is supposed to be funny and which is not):

GasBag Keith Olberman weighs in with Al Sharpton
:

Rev David Mannings take:

The View Goes Overboard….

David Drake says it’s again a case of the left seeing racism where it doesn’t exist.

From an L.A. Times Op/Ed:

    …it was obvious that the monkey was supposed to represent the Washington establishment that produced the unwieldy legislation passed by Congress and signed by President Obama.

    Chimp Cartoons  Update

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President Please! “N…..” Word Now Obsolete

February 19, 2009

In a wave of revisionism sweeping the nation the “N” word is now obsolete and has been replaced by “President”. This video explains:

The revisionism has required the alternation of the famous Chris Rock skit, “Nigga Please Cereal” (original video below)

….and the replacement, revised video:

Funny stuff indeed!

My Personal Stimulus: $5.5 Million: Everyone Qualifies

February 13, 2009

Yes dear readers, everyone qualifies now for their own personal stimulus package. Follow a simple program that I will describe and you can insert your personal appropriation into the Porkulus Bill. Steadyjohn will receive $5,500,000.00, not a paltry 13 bucks a week. My cutlet is buried amongst varied and sundry pork within Title III, Subtitle A:

National Telecommunications and Information Administration

salaries and expenses

For an additional amount for `Salaries and Expenses’, $350,000,000, to remain available until September 30, 2011: Provided, That funds shall be available to establish the State Broadband Data and Development Grant Program, as authorized by Public Law 110-385, for the development and implementation of statewide initiatives to identify and track the availability and adoption of broadband services within each State, and to develop and maintain a nationwide broadband inventory map, as authorized by section 6001 of division B of this Act.

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to Steadyjohn for the Steadyjohn Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $5,500,000 shall be paid directly to Steadyjohn in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Steadyjohn to Take Care of Business or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Steadyjohn will receive free Aretha Franklin tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Steadyjohn shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Chris Dodd is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

digital-to-analog converter box program

Notwithstanding any other provision of law, and in addition to amounts otherwise provided in any other Act, for costs associated with the Digital-to-Analog Converter Box Program, $650,000,000, to be available until September 30, 2009: Provided, That these funds shall be available for coupons and related activities, including but not limited to education, consumer support and outreach, as deemed appropriate and necessary to ensure a timely conversion of analog to digital television.

National Institute of Standards and Technology

scientific and technical research and services

You may have noticed that Steadyjohn additionally is given a free pass on taxes, Aretha Franklin tickets for life, and the assurance that Senator Chris Dodd will be banished. Here’s what you do to get on the gravy train: Click here for full instructions; that’s all there is to it!

h/t Radio Vice Online

Get Your Personal Stimulus $$$

The TARP Babies and Other Hare-Brained Ideas

February 5, 2009

Today’s post is a guest contribution by reader L.S.:

Carrots Anyone, Br’er Rabbit’s selling them at a profit, and at reasonable prices. Come one, come all, let’s all shop at the Hare-Brain’s Store!

Limit TARP Execs to $500,000?

At first blush that sounds like a good idea. But let’s let the blood settle before it’s sealed and delivered to a frightened America and world. Sometimes there are unanticipated ramifications to what we first view intuitively as positive and productive.

The companies who have taken, or were coerced into accepting TARP funds are enormous, with multiple divisions throughout numerous companies within companies. Not all of these divisions are failing. Some, believe it or not, are actually money making, with outstanding managers. To place salary limitations upon the creme de la creme is tantamount to declaring (once again) that hard work, achievement, and productivity resulting in positive cash flow is secondary, and thusly devalued. It is a clear case of throwing out the baby with the bath water…. (more…)